
A Bible Lesson for Liberals
Rev. Dr. Neal R. Jones
Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Columbia
The Rev. Dr. Neal Jones gave this speech/sermon/Bible study at the SC Progressive Summit Nov. 17 in Columbia. It was so well-received, we asked permission to post it here.
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Hello, my name is Neal, and I’m a recovering Baptist. One of the reasons I fell in love with Unitarian Universalists and became one is because, unlike any other religious group I have known, they can laugh at themselves. We UUs may be dead serious about human rights and social justice, but we don’t take ourselves seriously. We can tell jokes on ourselves. You may have heard some of them.
A Unitarian Universalist died and came to a crossroad in the hereafter with three signs. One said, “This way to heaven.” Another said, “This way to hell.” And a third one said, “This way to a discussion about heaven and hell.” Without hesitation the Unitarian went to the discussion.
A jet airliner was having serious problems in flight, and it became apparent that the plane might crash. Everyone on board began to pray, except for the UUs. They organized a committee on air safety.
They’ve come up with a Unitarian version of the TV show “Survivor.” Contestants have to drive from Pelion to Pickens with a bumper sticker on the back of their car that says, “I’m a gay, atheist, vegetarian, and I’m here to take away your guns.” Anybody who gets there wins.
Unitarian meetings must be very confusing to visitors. A person speaks and says nothing. Nobody listens. Then everybody disagrees.
What do you call a dead Unitarian Universalist? All dressed up with no place to go.
Why did the Unitarian cross the road? To support the chicken in its search for its own path.
Why is a Unitarian congregation like granola? When you take away all the fruits and all the nuts, all you have left are the flakes.
Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.
Today I want to conduct a Bible study, and our Bible study is about prophets. Who are prophets, and what do they do? Many people think prophets tell the future, but prophets in the tradition of the ancient Hebrews told the truth. It’s informative to look at the etymology of “prophet.” In Hebrew, the word for prophet is “nabiy.” That shares the same root with “nabat,” the Hebrew word meaning “to see, to look intently at.” So one clue to what prophets do is that they help us to see more clearly. “Nabiy” also shares the same root with “nabach,” which means “to bark like a dog.” So a prophet makes a lot of noise to warn us of danger or to wake us up.
Hear the barking of some of the Hebrew prophets:
I hate, I despise your religious festivals, and I take no delight in your solemn assemblies. Even though you offer me your burnt offerings, I will not accept them. Take away from me the noise of your songs; I will not listen to the melody of your harps. But let justice roll down like waters, and righteousness like a mighty stream. — Amos
They shall beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks; nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more; But they shall all sit under their own vines and fig trees, and no one shall make them afraid. — Micah
The Spirit of God is upon me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed, to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord. — Jesus
According to the etymology of the word, prophets bark to wake us up so that we can see “what’s going on,” to quote Marvin Gaye. The Biblical prophets were saying, “Wake up, Israel! This is not the way the Creator intended the creation to be. God intended for you to establish peace and justice here on earth as it is in heaven. Modern day prophets, like Martin Luther King, Jr., are saying, “Wake up, America! You’re not living up to your creed. You say you believe that all people are created equal, but you are not practicing what you preach.
We need prophets in every age because we can’t see clearly on our own. We can’t see the forest for the trees. We are born into a particular time and place, and the history of the place becomes our history, and the culture of the times becomes our identity. None of us asked to be born to our particular parents, in our particular communities, attending our particular schools and churches, in 20th century America, but we were. We could have been born at another time and place, but we weren’t. We perceive, think, and act the way we do because that’s the way people of our time and place perceive, think, and act.
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